Fred & Lorraine

Life…has been one rugged road and I’ve had to really do some changes within. I’ve questioned, I’ve pleaded with God, I’ve cried, I’ve mourned, I’ve learned. It’s been almost a year since my lives collided head on…I survived b Iut was mangled in the process. Devastation.

If you have been reading my post you have an idea of the emotions I went through. So, I’ll spare you the details of all that. I’m still dealing with the mourning process but I was willing to allow the past relationship to slip through my fingers. I allowed myself to see it for what it was and I slowly made the move to accept it. Accept a degree of hurt when I realized the illusion of it. Accept the circumstances and move forward.

I saw this video and it brought me to tears. Fred and Lorraine shared 75 years and it is a long time. I thought about the small 16 years I have had. Those 16 years weren’t always perfect and I used all the imperfections as an excuse. I almost destroyed the many more years that would have been possible.

Now, after coming through the collision and surviving the injuries. Healing began when I was forgiven. I was given that unconditional love I had sought elsewhere. I had a man who got on his knees and took my hands and said, “I’m sorry”. He apologized for the difficult time in those 15 years that he didn’t use as an opportunity to grow. He apologized for not loving me as he should. He took me and held me like I was the ultimate prize that could have been lost. Maybe for once I felt like I was worth the fight. I was wanted.

Trust me, I was expecting the opposite and I waited to hear that it couldn’t be fixed. Yet, he is still here looking at me with eyes that see beauty. Arms that hold me such as a prize. I see it in Fred’s eyes. To be seen and thought of in this light is rare. So, it brought me to tears because for once….I’m the one on the other side of “the look”. I’m an object of desire and love.

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