I couldn’t sleep last night. I tossed and turned yet couldn’t wear myself out. It was one of those nights when I wake to stare at the numbers on the clock. The numbers staring back at me as if we are at a stand off; the second I blink it changes and it laughs at me. I had these odd dreams and maybe they were just a glimpse what I wanted but they still felt so real and I swear I was happy. Then I stare at the clock again. UGH! I could hear the wind howling outside and I could just feel the cold right outside my covers….then I have that horrible dream of needing to go the bathroom and DARN IT! I have to get up to go pee. Don’t you just hate those dreams?? I do. I leave the comfort of warmth….the wind is still howling and I wonder if it’s snowing…I go back to bed and try to get comfortable and warm again. I think and wonder like I often do and count on my fingers four hours ahead. Then I think about why I have to count on my fingers every single time I do it. I smile and try to find sleep again.
Now, it’s Tuesday morning and I made it to work just a few minutes late. Grumpy children in tow as I drive them to school. I wonder if they the same sleep experience because they sure were slow and grumpy this morning. It might be their experience of getting back to their routine after a long break away from it. It’s 39 degrees right now and I scolded my daughter for wanting to wear a lite sweater to school; she stared at me like a deer in headlights. By the way, I hate that! She will just stand and stare at me like she didn’t hear a word I said OR she is looking through me to avoid me. Regardless of what she is doing….I usually have to say, “GO!” Then she snaps out of her brief hypnotic state to do what she was just told to do. My eldest son has this stoic look on his face which usually means, BACK OFF, and he doesn’t say much but enough to let me know he is not having a good morning. I think he is most like me….we aren’t real good as hiding our emotions and when we are not feeling happy it’s best to stay clear until our emotions subsides. He reminds me that he has a basketball game tonight and I remind him to call his grandmother to let her know.
Okay, I think I’m ready to face this work day. I often write entries like these but keep them private but I think today I’ll share. Enjoy. Have a great day everyone!