What gives?

Listening to: “Free” by Graffiti 6

Why must things be so damn difficult? It either is or is isn’t. I am tired of the inconsistencies and I want to just jump off the ride until the person driving it makes up their mind about what they want. Then, to stop being an ass and actually have a real conversation.

The last few years…I’ve defiantly grown tired of people who suck the life out of me. Yeah, I’m sure I’ve been the total bitch but it helped to weed out the few friends I ended up with. I may have one or two real good friends and no more acquaintances. I felt that if someone really wants me in their life they will make an effort to be a part of it…even if I’m a bitch and I have a bad day. Judgement free as well. What the fuck! Everyone does wrong in their life and I won’t be made to feel like shit just because you think highly of yourself. Not anymore.

A couple of years of ago I would have been sitting here crying over you and wondering what I did wrong. I’d be blaming myself for breaking some friendship/relationship rule that was non-existent.  Now, I’m done with crying over you. Crying over you being such an ass and being completely inappropriate when I need you to be an adult and admit to your idiocy. To actually say your sorry for taking me for granted. For taking our friendship for granted. Five years of building a sincere relationship on my part to find that you aren’t really with me on the journey.

Am I crying? Nope! I’m tired of shedding the tears. Who knows if my disappearance from your everyday life will even make a difference. Instead of realizing your mistake and admitting to it…will you be that hard headed person and actually lose me? How important is this to you?

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