When you spit your venom.

The school year is winding down and I’m counting the days when summer break arrives. This is the end of my tenth year of counseling children and as the years progress the hill gets a little steeper. Some students have it hard and I feel for them. I have a few that it could take months to make a break through to get past the tough exterior and find the small sliver into their soul.

Today was that day….there is a young lady I meet with every couple of weeks who has been a challenge and I’ve certainly had to learn some patience in those sessions. She often came in with a smirk on her face as if she was ready to go to battle and I suppose for her…it was a battle. She came in mid first semester to a new school and had a difficult time with authority (as I was told). She would often come in with her shoulders slumped and at times she would stare at me as if she wanted to let me know that she was ready to put up a fight. I’d give her a smile as I stare back at her. I’d ask her how things are going. My question was often returned with the shrug of her shoulders, an irritated remark, or a glare.

I was surprised as she quickly blurted out some words that told me that she does not have an ideal relationship with her mother or her sisters. She said them so fast as to get them out of her mouth as fast as she could. She quickly clammed up as quickly as she spoke. Her shoulders dropped as if a huge weight had been placed on them. Her eyes darted to the floor as I see them begin to well up with tears. She blinked as she pull those tears back in. She looked so angry at herself. I didn’t pry for more information but sat as she gathered herself and composed her body.

The last few words were, “I found a song I really like and it’s called La La La.” I tried to ask why she liked the song and she just smirked. I told her that I would look it up later. She slowly nodded her head. I returned to my office and I looked up the song and lyrics. Not a bad song but those lyrics…

Hush, don’t speak
When you spit your venom, keep it shut I hate it
When you hiss and preach
About your new messiah ’cause your theories catch fire

I can’t find your silver lining
I don’t mean to judge
But when you read your speech, it’s tiring
Enough is enough

I’m covering my ears like a kid
When your words mean nothing, I go la la la
I’m turning up the volume when you speak
‘Cause if my heart can’t stop it,
I find a way to block it, I go
La la, la la la la la na na na na na
La la na na, la la la la la na na na na na,
I find a way to block it, I go
La la na na, la la la la la na na na na na [2x]

If our love is running out of time
I won’t count the hours, rather be a coward
When our worlds collide
I’m gonna drown you out before I lose my mind


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