It’s been awhile since I posted. To tell you the truth…I haven’t really had the urge to write. I’ve been feeling complacent and I’ve been suppressing all the emotions that once stirred inside me. It is too much to think and feel. Maybe more like I’m not moving along with traffic and I’m feeling like I’m riding in a broken down car; people gawking, some yelling, some throw their hands up in frustration. I just sit, wishing I could close my eyes and all would disappear. It’s an odd place to be but strangely enough it is comforting just to be still.
I’m still trying to figure things out but one thing is for sure…I am here. I think I’ve come to acknowledge (maybe not accept) that we are two different people living two very different lives. Our worlds may come together for a brief moment but we will forever just be in two different places. Now the word “England” has become the dreaded cuss word. Lol. I think it was just one more reminder of reality and I am sure there will be more. I guess we all can’t have what we want. Yet, I still look forward to our brief times and I still feel overwhelmed with emotion when I think of you. I believe you will always be that person; the one that came too late, the shoulda been, the one who stole my heart, the love of my life but…sadly tragic. Yeah, I know….stupid.
These are just a few thoughts running through my head this morning. The other day I heard a song by Kenny Chesney titled Always Gonna Be You. Take a listen sometime.