I’m back. I so needed that small break from writing. I felt like I was drowning in life and just the thought of trying to write was too much. I really enjoy writing and have always felt like it was a sort of therapy. I tend to express myself so much better in writing. Plus the anonymity is a bonus. I also found that reading other blogs became a source of encouragement which was nice. Some of you out there have some great thoughts going on.
I am feeling a little better these days and I really believe things will be okay. For a while there, I really was falling apart inside and I really tried hard to hold myself together in hopes that I’d “just get through it.” A huge part of it was coming to terms to an end of a real significant relationship. It truly was the first time I felt completely at ease with who I am. I sincerely fell in love with all of him. I care for him. He will always be someone who I think of when I overcome, accomplish, fail, hurt, and when I celebrate moments; when I feel lonely. I read the following quote,
One day, whether you are 14, 28, or 65 you will stumble upon someone who will start a fire in you that cannot die. However, the saddest, most awful truth you will ever come to find–is they are not always with whom we spend our lives.
With that said, it’s time to close that chapter in my life…keep my chin up and see all the things I have left to do. I did have one celebration in the last couple of weeks. I did pass that exam I was dreading. I was super excited when I saw that I had passed. It was a moment of relief since I was feeling like such a failure when i didn’t pass it before. I had to be content with my own celebration and I did feel a little sadness when I couldn’t share this happiness as I wished. It’s okay though. I did it!