Flying cow.

This past weekend I relaxed. I attempted to do a few things I hadn’t done in some time. Tried to start a book. Tried to finish this blanket I started. I tried not to think too much…

My life since this new job has felt beyond chaos. Imagine that tornado in the movie twister…you know the scene with the cows flying by…totally me! Cow  caught up in this natural disaster. Add a few life events and it is a full blown tornado. So, this past weekend was the first weekend I didn’t do one thing that required cooking, cleaning, or thinking. I attempted to just exist and turn everything down or off. It was kinda nice to enjoy the silence but of course it always reminds me of loneliness then I try to occupy myself to avoid the thinking.

However…I got to watch a movie and I enjoyed it. Loved it! Yeah, it was one of them sappy love stories but I couldn’t resist watching something I wanted and not worry about anyone seeing me cry. I didn’t cry…came close but didn’t. This is the song that tugged at my heart.

Loving can hurt
Loving can hurt sometimes
But it’s the only thing that I know
When it gets hard
You know it can get hard sometimes
It is the only thing that makes us feel alive

We keep this love in a photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Hearts are never broken
Times forever frozen still

So you can keep me
Inside the pocket
Of your ripped jeans
Holdin’ me closer
‘Til our eyes meet
You won’t ever be alone
Wait for me to come home

Loving can heal
Loving can mend your soul
And it’s the only thing that I know (know)
I swear it will get easier
Remember that with every piece of ya
And it’s the only thing we take with us when we die

We keep this love in this photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Our hearts were never broken
Times forever frozen still

So you can keep me
Inside the pocket
Of your ripped jeans
Holdin’ me closer
‘Til our eyes meet
You won’t ever be alone

And if you hurt me
That’s OK, baby, only words bleed
Inside these pages you just hold me
And I won’t ever let you go

Wait for me to come home [4x]

Oh you can fit me
Inside the necklace you got when you were 16
Next to your heartbeat
Where I should be
Keep it deep within your soul

And if you hurt me
Well, that’s OK, baby, only words bleed
Inside these pages you just hold me
And I won’t ever let you go

When I’m away
I will remember how you kissed me
Under the lamppost
Back on 6th street
Hearing you whisper through the phone,
“Wait for me to come home.”

Overall, June is always a hard month. Let me tell you why…it is the month of my birth. Every year goes by without notice of the day. It’s kinda depressing to know that those closer or those that are supposed to “love” you allow it to pass by like any other day. Maybe I’m just selfish to want to feel like I’m important to someone..that on the day of my birth someone is happy to have me in their life.  Is that wrong to want? I never say that outloud…

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